I was sitting in a small restaurant and sipping a macciato...felt this urge to put my thoughts down on some piece of paper...no paper.....searched my bag...sh*** no paper....strange...oh well...there was this lovely silky napkin on the table....yeah...why not..http://planetlila.multiply.com/still have it in my bag/....started writting....
" I'm not cold, the weather is rather nice, sunny, just some slight breeze.
Walked thru Duomo to Scala, continued to Di Academia de bella arte, and then to Via Brera. Its tranquile, with caffes on each side of the street..people sitting outside having their aperitivos. Everywhere around me I feel history, culture, piece. I don't feel lonely, just a sense of random thoughts, not confused, not searching for answers, not making decissions. Everything is in the air, I need just to reach out and there's closure surrounding me. I qualify within myself...I don't need to make decissions. There's no yesterday and no tomorrow, only the moment..continuous moment. I must embrace it.
Sipping my macciato, I glance to the building across, there's a poster, I read it...it says: WHAT ARE YOU FIGHTING FOR?
I ponder for a whisper of a moment....I am not fighting for anything...the sign goes on and says : MAKE A DIFFERENCE! ....then the sense of awareness, I am making a difference, I am more alive then ever - is that a difference enough? Yes, I've already made my first step towards the difference. There's no need for more.
An ashtray with a cigarette, an empty cup of macciato...another silky napkin....green table cloth, a bird flew to the table...I say: "Ciao" ...it makes funny jumps on the table, stops for a while....we look at each other and I whisper: "Take me with you..." ...few more jumps and it flies away.
A moment to endure...thats all to it, no phylosophy, no deep thoughts, its so simple...the moment is gone, but I'm still here, I smile. What else can one ask for. Should I write down the date...the time...no, no reason, it will always be there, I will cherrish it and carry it within.
My mom's best friend died yesterday. An end of a life time, memories in flashes, a sense of closure...and still, life goes on. A mixture of saddness and happiness, strange and yet so real. A cycle, just another cycle.
Every moment must be embraced, happy or sad, isn't that making a difference? For me , it is. Endless choices, different perspectives, be true, be real, its all good, there are no regrets, all's well.
The paved street has its own history, so do my footsteps. No matter where they take me. I don't need a witness for these moments...I'm the witness. The destinations are of no importance, just the moments filled with the echoes of my footsteps. I open, I welcome the feeling, I have reached the perfection, I don't have to seek anymore, its in the soul, it's in every moment of my breath, it will take its place and settle there, fulfilling the unaware search in ones life. Serendipity is a state of relief - no need for any planned further steps. Just embrace, hold, smile, no need to think, no need to plan...its within me, I have acomplished and completed a phase in my life....I have found, and I KNOW. Now , I can improvize. Don't follow the notes, just improvize, its the stage of perfection, the tune is good, no need to work on it, just let it unfold, whatever way....it will stay as a favorite tune, easy to sing, easy to remember....I have found a song for my soul. A constant and final meaningful tune.
Via Brera, a place to remember...and life goes on, maybe just into a different and new cycle."
No comments:
Post a Comment